5 Tips for New Single Moms – What I learned in the First Month

Yep, you read that right – “single mom” some major changes have happened in the last year or so. We are in the thick of it still so I will not be talking much about it here even though I try to always share the pieces of our lives. I will be sharing small snapshots of the things that I can like the tips I learned in that first month completely on my own.

 

There are No Breaks (But that is okay)

You will not have the breaks that you had before. You will be the number one parent for your children. Yet you will find the strength and the small things will rejuvenate you. There are these small blessings and moments of joy that will keep you going! Hold on to them. Pause and focus on them. Be thankful for those seconds of hope, kindness, joy, and love.

The People You Thought Would Always Be There May Not Be (But New People will Come Into Your Life)

You have family and friends that you may always think will be there for you. This is the hardest lesson that I have learned, they may not move with you to this new stage of your life. I have had so many amazing blessings from people that I barely knew, new people who have held out their hands and pulled me up from the depths of the despair.

I have learned there are those who cared about me more than I knew. They were what I would consider acquaintances, but small things I have done for them in the past have been returned tenfold.

Also people that were minor friends are now growing into beautiful deep friendships – these are my new family. I have also made new friends, people who have come into my life to help me navigate changes they have lived through with love and kindness.

The Days are Long (But Just Take it One at a Time)

Some days will feel like three in one so it’s best just to live moment by moment. The unexpected will always catch you by surprise. The things you thought you would get done, may not happen. Know that what you had scheduled can be moved to another day.

Get in the moment of right now, live through it, do what you need to do for you and your children. When the unexpected happens, embrace it. Feel the warmth of a small hand in yours, listen to the wind trickling through the trees, and dance in the rain!

Your Eyes Will Be Opened Up About the Past (But Just Ask What Can I Learn From That)

You will have moments of clarity of things of the past. They may surprise you, they may shock you, they may hurt but stop and really look at what you learned or can learn from that moment. Ask what you should do now – in the present and find a way that you can move on and change what you can now so you don’t repeat the past.

Don’t Dwell in the Past (But Also Don’t Worry About the Future)

Look back at good memories but don’t dwell on what cannot be changed. You can use the past to really examine what you want to change in your life now. You can change the now and the future but you cannot change the past.

Yet do not get consumed by worry for the future either. You cannot control the future either. You can say I want to change this right now in hopes that it will help me next week, next month or next year. But things can make a sudden turn and those plans may not work anymore. Do not worry, live for now.

Still make your plans – but be aware there may be a sudden deviation in those plans and just take it in stride!

Live in the Moment

The takeaway from all these tips is just live in the moment and find the joy in those moments. Joy can mean happiness, love, peace, growth and strength. Some moments just take strength but they will pass and you will be even stronger on the other side of them.

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