I very rarely use Pepper Scraps as a place to rant and rave, but I’ve been seeing the Times cover floating across the web. I was bothered by it.
I wasn’t sure why at first.
It was not because they showed a strange picture of a woman breastfeeding. Not because I don’t believe in attachment parenting. But because Times Magazine is trying to goad women into comparing themselves with this cover. I have not even read the article.
This is a constant fight in our lives just as women, but it even worsens when we become mother’s. We are constantly questioning what we are doing as women, how we look, how we mother our children, and our choices that we have made. Then we see the mom that is doing it better than us, she has everything down perfect (at least we think so). Then the comparing starts. If she can do it why can we not. We must be doing something wrong! There must be something wrong with us.
Weight & Body Image
I have compared myself and my body to other women. Why am I so heavy? Why is it if I even eat 1 meal a day do I weigh more than the women enjoying 3 heavy meals a day?
I have faced the fact my body is my body. If I want to be healthy and strong I have to work hard! It’s how I was made and through this battle of losing weight I have helped others!
I personally have struggled with comparing myself with other women in breastfeeding. I had low milk supply, it just didn’t work for us. The first time I hated myself and my body for failing. But the second time I chose not to compare myself to the women surrounding me enjoying breastfeeding their children. I was proud of myself for the battle I fought to make it 6 months!
Through this trial I have been able to help and encourage friends who have battled breastfeeding in their own ways. From the mom who was making her little one sick by over feeding her because she just thought she had to have a low supply to supporting many friends who just were not able to do it at all.
A few years ago I struggled at trying to the perfect Mom. I was putting too much on myself. I saw other moms who were teaching their children to read and write. They were able to keep a perfect house, homeschool their children and seemed to have everything balanced. I started to compare my life to theirs and I struggled. I was trying to homeschool, keep house, work on my business, and work outside of the home. It was just too much for me.
Ironically I would have other mom’s come up to me, while I felt like I was failing, they asked me how I do it all. They were envious of me because I am crafty and artistic and my kids were always creating things. For me the trade out for being crafty is that I’m terrible at organizing and cleaning, I’m in a constant battle with my house.
I sat back and looked at my life last year and realized I needed to decide what works for me. What has God given me in talents and abilities that make me the Mom I should be for my kids. I also made a point as soon as I started to compare myself to another mom I would tell myself STOP!
But now the question is turned to you:
Are you mom enough to not compare?
Because the fact is you are the mom you are supposed to be and if you start to try and be like someone else you will fail!
Every Mom is Mom enough to be the mom they are meant to be.
I’m Mom enough because I want them to become strong Godly men that are leaders and filled with compassion. Everyday I tell them I love them, I hold them, snuggle with them and spend as much time as I can everyday with them.