Two years ago something happened in my life that would change it forever. Not for the good. My world was turned upside down. We had been fighting it for years but it finely came to an end I never expected.
I know this makes you curious on what it could have been, but the fact is that I don’t write about it online. I talk to friends, family and other sisters in Christ. Writing it online is very permanent and putting it up here could make it hurtful and dangerous.
The fact is that the result of the situation made it so that everything had to be revealed to friends and family. I made the choice that to keep going on the lies had to come out. Secrets that had been hiding for so long needed to be told to everyone. Upon the confession to friends and family I came upon a problem.
What do you say to someone who asks “How are you?” If you are like me over two years ago, you always just said “fine”. But I realized this was a lie. My friends knew this was a lie at this point in my life, I was struggling for every day.
Why do we lie to our friends?
I really started thinking about this question and realizing that I needed to take it more serious. I needed my friends to know that I was not okay. I needed their support, their love, their prayers and sometimes a hug.
I asked myself why I always automatically say “Fine”.
Was I afraid that friends would not understand? Was I trying avoid talking about what was going on? Was I trying to not waste their time?
After really thinking about these reasons I realized they were ridiculous.
If these people were my friends why would they not understand? Avoiding the subject was not going to make it go away. If they were really my friends they would want to take the time to listen to me.
If it was the other way around I would want my friends to feel like they can tell me that they are struggling, that they are sad, that they need prayer.
I made a challenge to myself. Every time someone asked me “How are you?” I would stop, think, and answer honestly. I challenged myself to do it for a year. After that year was over I continued because I realized it was helpful and it was truthful. None of my friends stopped asking and they were always supportive.
So this is my challenge to you also, I dare you to answer honestly every time someone asks you how you are. Do it for a week, a month, 6 months, your choice, but try it!
Are you lying to your friends?
What do you do when someone asks you how you are? When things are lousy and life is falling apart around you do you tell them the truth?
Why do you avoid telling people what is really on your heart? Do you have some friends that you tell the truth but others you don’t? Why?