Rebuilding my Faith
I feel like I need to rebuild my faith, I’ve been lost for too long. I need to make a point to put God first. I need to take the time to read my Bible and pray, on my own every day. I need to make it mandatory to go to church in our family. I need to spend more time with other women strong in their faith. Look into a bible study for women. I want to volunteer at the church. I want us to become members of the church.
I want a husband that puts God first before all else. I want a husband that prays and reads his Bible daily. A husband that spends time weekly praying and reading the Bible with me. I want a husband that can lead his family in a righteous path. A husband that makes sure his family goes to church at least once a week. A husband that makes good relationships with men of God.
Finding out Who Am I
… I need to find myself. Learn who I really am inside. I need to take time for myself to just think and write. Writing is a way for me to express myself that is the best way for me to be truthful. To others and to myself. I need to journal at least once a week. To write out what I am feeling, what I am wanting at that moment, and how I am dealing with the things that have happened that week.
I want to work through some of my emotional disconnects that have always help me hide my pain and depression. I want to start to learn to give and except hugs from others even though I hate people inside my personal bubble. I want to tell people, “I’m not doing good today” when they ask how I am. I want to stop putting on my I’m always happy face that I have become so good at that I do it out of habit.
I want to increase my self esteem and self worth. I need to take care of my skin, redo my makeup wardrobe, find some clothes I like and are flattering, continue eating healthy, and consider dying my hair to get rid of the gray.
I want to not let the depression overcome my life ever again. I need to make sure and take my pills. I need to make sure and ask if my dosage needs to go up.
Creating a Relationship that is Real
I want to be able to love and be loved by my husband … I need to face that I can only make myself healthy…
Start from a new beginning with our relationship. I want a husband that tells me he loves me in the morning and at night. Have monthly date nights and have weekly together time. Make a point of having long late night conversations like we used to. I want to have a husband that is romantic and likes to surprise me with notes, flowers, and surprise dates.
How to be a family
I want to learn to be a family. I want to be able to say in the future that I took the time to watch my children grow up and not to focus on anything else. I want to continue to strive to be a stay at home mom, and at this point enjoy only working part time. I need to make sure and make a point to have us spend time as a family. I want to hug, kiss, and tell my boys I love them every day. I want to be there for them, I don’t want to be in a fog and be going through the motions with no emotions.
I want my sons to grow up with a strong relationship with God. I need to make a point and make sure we go to church each weekand see that this is important but not ritualistic. I need to be an example to them in reading my Bible, praying, and fellowshipping with others. I need to pray with them when we eat and at night before they go to bed. I need to pray for them.
I want to have a husband that will make his family a priority in his life. A husband that makes time for us every day. I want to have monthly family outings.
Grow my Circle of Friends
I want to have a strong circle of friends for support, encouragement, and to give me strength in myself. Have more get togethers like we used to. Do things with just my girlfriends. Call my friends more often and just talk. Give my friends hugs.
I want a husband that has good relationships with other men especially christian men.