The boys are testing my mommy skills and I’m getting to my limit. If Zarek is not throwing up on me or I’m not changing a icky diaper, Zane is having alergic reactions to who knows what having us run to the ER. And I think he must like the ER because he decided this morning to eat 1/2 box of benadryl.

It was mommy’s fault for leaving the benadryl out but I’m also running on almost no sleep. Saturday night (1:30am) Zane awoke just inconsolable.  In the next half hour we were rushing him to the ER with head to toe hives. You know it’s bad when the nurse tells you if he starts having breathing or swallowing pull over and have an ambulance take him the rest of the way.

We stayed at the hospital till 4 or 5am got a shot of steroids and some benedryl. We got home and I stayed up with Zane to watch him and make sure he didn’t scratch. But after staying up I just couldn’t get myself to go to bed. So I got a whole 1 1/2 hours of sleep on Saturday and Sunday.

And it didn’t stop with the weekend. Monday I screwed up not looking at my schedule. I was just too tired Sunday night and I’m always scheduled at 10am.  Nope I was scheduled for 8:30am.Which threw off my whole day.

I have a family member who has been arrested for some nasty stuff. So glad that we rarely saw them anyways, maybe once a year. But it’s been hard just wrapping my mind around the whole thing.

On the good news though business is really picking up for me on my graphic design jobs. It’s been amazing some of the great jobs that have been coming in. I’m going to be having a huge site reveal in the next few days which is very exciting.

All the things I do wrong as a mother:

• I give him juice (and sometimes when I’m in a hurry I don’t even water it down)
• I let him talk in his crib every morning, not rushing in there at the first peep
• I let him sleep in our bed as a baby
• We don’t eat organic
• Sometimes we still give him a sippy cup of milk in his crib at night
• I gave him soy formula
• I let him have a binky (& two at night one in the hand and one in the mouth)
• I let him have a cupcake for his birthday
• I don’t read and research every single product I give him
• I used plastic bottles
• I USE plastic plates, spoons, forks, and sippy cups
• I don’t make sure he is getting 24oz. of milk everyday
• He gets all of his vacinations
• My toddler eats hot dogs more than once a week (his favorite meal)
• I let my baby Cry it Out
• I gave him Cough Medicine when he was sick on Christmas
• We believe in punishments in our house
• I’m horrible at giving him his fluoride and making him brush his teeth
• We don’t live and breathe on his schedule
• And lastly I let him watch cartoons

I’m sure at least one if not all of those horrible things I do will ruin my little guy. But you know what, I love him, I don’t stress about it, and I know God loves our little one and will protect him from all of my mistakes and wrong doings. Sometimes you just have to face the fact you may not be the perfect mommy, but you are doing your best and they won’t remember your mistakes.

Did I mention that I didn’t rush to the sink and wash off his binky everytime it hit the floor?