Is it terrible to say that my first reaction to you coming into our lives was not that of glee and joy. But you my little boy have filled our lives with so much glee and joy. I was stressed about the idea of having a new little one so quickly. After waiting and trying for your brother so long, I was not expecting a such a quick repeat. I was afraid you would be a whirl wind of a little boy just as your bother.

But you are so much different than your brother. You Zarek are my little sunshine. You wake up with sunshine smiles, hugs and kisses and you just fill my day with warmth and happiness. You love to snuggle and share your love. You love to give out random kisses and have a huge heart. When Zaney gets hurt you run over to give him so many loves.

This last year I have watched you become the most efficient walker, runner, climber I have ever seen. You love to climb on everything and have only fallen a few rare times. Your words are slow to come but I suspect that is because you want to be confident in your wide range of movement.

You are also very quiet when you speak, I think that you are just more quiet in general. Though this last month you have really started picking up your words and even saying sentences. One being “Go Away” so clearly the first time I heard it I was sure it wasn’t you. I wonder who would have taught you that phrase? Maybe a big brother, even though he loves you and loves playing with you somedays he’s done and says this to you.

I love to watch your compassion grow and strengthen, you obviously will have a heart for animals and for people. You try and make sure everyone is happy and if not you try and comfort them with your sweet two year old way.

You have definitely decided that you are two and that this means you know how this world works and if mommy says no she must be wrong. Part of me is happy to see this strength of character, but part of me is sad to see the two-year-old defiance start to come out. Tantrums have started, but I know you will quickly grow out of them!

We have had such an amazing year and I cannot wait to see the years to come. I’m sorry your letter is a little late, life has been so hectic in this last few months, but I wanted to make sure I finished it!

The day started early as you had a scheduled debut. You were going to be evicted from your snugly abode. And we were excited. The day also started with snow, in March in Oregon, a very rare thing to happen. We called the hospital to see if we could come in early so to make sure we didn’t get stuck on our hill or on the hill up to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and they were ready for us. We got comfortable in our room and we got to listen to your heartbeat and your kicks as you kicked the monitor.

In the operating room it was strange for mommy, because with your big brother it was such a shock to be in there that I remember very little of being in there. But then I also got sick this time. Don’t know if it was nerves, not eating, just being more aware, the constant morning sickness that never went away or the spinal.

But then you were in the room with us, complaining about leaving your nice warm home for this bright cold world. Daddy got to watch you as you got weighed and monitored and then I got to see you.

In our room we got to have you near in the hospital’s funny little plexi-glass bassinets. And for hours on end you laid all swaddled there and in my arms, humming. You almost sounded like you were singing to yourself, trying to sooth yourself. I loved listening to you, to the first sounds you made.

Your brother adored you right away, running into the room to see the baby. And everyday he loved coming back to see his brother. And on your first car ride together as we tried to figure out how to shuffle you both to the car we tried taking Zane out first. He ran to your car seat and started dragging you along with him.

Now you have learned so many wonderful and spectacular skills. I love to watch you “run” up and hall. I love when I catch you playing with your brother.  I love to listen to your little babbles as you try to learn to talk. But even without words you are learning to communicate. You hold out your hand and give a little motion to tell me “give me”, “I want”, or as I like to pretend you are saying, “Please”.

We cannot wait to see what the Lord has prepared for your life. To learn more about you and your unique personality. To watch you grow and change. To see how you and your brother grow closer and become bonded together as brothers. We love you so much!