To Train up a Child

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I’ve really been struggling this month with Zane and discipline. It has been more than a month but it’s starting to wear on me more this month. I feel like I’m loosing my mind.

I think that is not just one thing that is causing the craziness in our house. I think it is a combination of things.

Lack of Naps

Zane has not taken a nap for over a week now and even before that last nap he hadn’t napped for days and so on. I think he is done with naps. I just don’t know how to help him get to sleep. Sleeping has always been a hard thing for him. It takes him forever to fall asleep. I found out this is a genetic thing, it runs in my husband’s family. My husband was the same way as a child and his sister had the same problems. And he has a cousin that stopped napping early on too.

By the time we get to 5:30ish, with no nap, Zane turns into a little pumpkin, the craziness really starts. But I can’t just put him to bed at this time otherwise he will get up at 5am in the morning. Which does not work in our family with my husband working swing shift. Now I am attempting to just give him quiet time in the afternoon/evening. Hoping this will help with the over stimulation.

Inconsistency

I think another issue is the inconsistency in the house in regards to discipline. I am to blame with this as much as anyone else in our house, but my husband has started to drive me batty.

My husband doesn’t just give one warning. There is warning after warning and then there is the negotiations.  My husband tries to negotiate him into behaving. If you do this I will give you a treat.

Which I use this tactic too but only when it is really necessary. If I’m trying to get him out of my doctors office and he doesn’t want to leave the toys and is starting to cause a scene I offer him a toy from my purse to take with him.

My MIL uses Mr. Spoon, which in our household we are okay with spankings. And Mr. Spoon actually rarely gets used. If she mentions talking to Mr. Spoon about the misbehavior Zane bucks up.

This does not work for me. I think it’s because I am Mommy. He is much better behaved when I am not in the room with him. This has been mentioned multiple times when I arrive at daycare to pick him up.

Just being 2

I know part of it is just being 2 and I just need to relax and remember this too will pass. But it is so hard when you have a baby crying in your arms and you 2 years old is running circles around you screaming and hitting and just doing things to get you riled up.

I understand that he is 2 years old and trying to get a grasp on his own independence. I am trying to give him choices and trying to make him understand that there are consequence to those choices. I feel like I’m loosing the battle over who is in charge in this house.

Too Many Thoughts, Too Many Books

I’ve starting reading books to try and at least make myself feel like I am doing something to improve the situation. Recently I picked up one book I got at the book expo. I won’t name it because I was a little unimpressed and it even had one suggestion that I completely disagreed upon.

The theory in this book is that you tell your child once, turn around, and walk out of the room. I think this could work with some children. As I’m learning about Zarek’s personality I could see this working on him in the future. But Zane is too independent.  He always has been. Even as a baby he was happier sitting in his crib playing by himself then being snuggled.

A good example of me trying this theory was this morning. Zane decided to let himself downstairs, I told him no we were waiting for Daddy, and left it at that. He let himself downstairs I closed the gate so he couldn’t get back into the upstairs. He went and played downstairs.

He was upset when he found out he couldn’t get back upstairs but went back to going downstairs and opening the backdoor and playing outside with no shoes on, in the dirt. Nope, I don’t think this is going to work. My Zane does not care if you leave the room.

I have tried the SuperNanny timeouts and they work the best but I could spend the whole day just putting him back into timeout. He is very strong willed.

I have watched the Happiest Toddler on the Block. And I just can’t make myself talk like a toddler and I don’t see how going down to their level will really benefit them.

I have tried Mr. Spoon and even though I agree with spanking, it breaks my heart to do it. I have never seen it really work with him either. He seems to not really care until the very moment of the spanking. So I am trying to find another way.

Each child is different and each child needs a different kind of discipline. Does anyone out there have any other  suggestions? Any advice? Know what I’m going through? What do/did you do?

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