[box style=”rounded” border=”full”]I hope you will welcome Miz, one of the first guest bloggers here at Pepper Scraps. She is posting on Weigh in Wednesday about her view of herself and her goals of eating better but also loving herself! I’m sure you enjoy her post as much as I did!
– Love Pepper[/box]
Ok ladies. I think I can safely say the majority of us have a little issue about the way we look. If we have blonde hair we want brown. If we have big boobs we complain about wanting them smaller. And there’s not a lady in my life that doesn’t want to lose a little weight. Most of my friends call it “toning up” or “wanting to get fitter”. No one actually says what they mean to. Then there are the women who want to lose that last 10lbs, for the summer.
I’ve been on a downer about my weight for years. In that time I’ve been skinny, fat, and somewhere in between. Those identifiers mean different things to different people, but to me skinny was a UK size 10 (US size 6), fat was UK size 18 (US size 14). At my happiest, I was a UK size 12 (US size 8). I was curvy, fit and healthy. I rocked vintage clothes and could dance the night away with merry abandon. But even then, without realising I was happy with my weight, I felt I had to lose “those last 10lbs”. There has never been a time when I didn’t pressure myself to “tone up”. Blame whatever you want, the fashion industry, peer pressure, or a woman’s inevitable urge to put herself down – but I know I’ve never not felt the need to be something I’m not at that particular point.
I needed to change the way I view my health. Right now, there are many reasons I should lose weight. Yep, I need to lose weight. I’m not dressing it as toning up. I need to face facts here. I’m 27 year old, UK size 16 (US size 12) and I have back issues, not helped by the extra bulk I carry. I can’t dance with merry abandon anymore. My vintage dresses are in storage. Thing is, I’m constantly told I carry my weight well. It’s the most insulting compliment I receive. It’s an admission that I’m carrying extra weight. It says I don’t look as bad as “other fat people”. It’s still judgement. The worst thing is, I said to myself too!
So yeah, change. Like I said before, weight and size mean different things to different people. I know I never want to be less than a UK size 12 (US size 8), I know I look ridiculous smaller, since there’s two quite big parts of my body that stay the same size no matter what size I am. I have no desire to be a Playboy bunny! But that’s *my* goal. There is at least one woman out there who would love to get to the size I am now. It’s all relative. Self image and weight are so closely linked that it’s hard to see the other possibilities to improve how you view yourself. If you make weight loss your only focus, what happens next? Do you go straight to loving your new shape, or do you stay in that mindset of trying to achieve the perfect figure long after you’ve already achieved what’s right for you?
So I stand in front of a mirror. I look at myself, hard. It was difficult at first. It’s appallingly easy to cut straight to the negative points. My stomach hangs. Damn cellulite. I hate my knees!
Stop.
Enough.
I love my hair. My boobs remain optimistically perky considering their size. I know I’ve got shapely and, sometimes, on good day, quite lovely legs. My body is my best visual aid to my history. Every lump and bump tells a story. I’m not trying to erase that, but start a new chapter. Now when I stand in front of a mirror, I tend to like what I see. On a good day, I even like my bum!
Since I’ve started seeing my body as my greatest achievement, I’ve started treating it better. I drink more water because I like the way it makes my skin look. I eat more fruit because it tastes fantastic and I get a natural sugar rush. I slather myself in beautiful smelling lotions and I give myself mani/pedis. I don’t even miss chips (that much, I’m only human!). I only eat dark chocolate now, on occasion, and I’ve developed a taste for it. I’ve never had a sweet tooth before! I’ve started walking, everywhere. Even if there’s no destination in mind, I love nothing more than plugging music in my ears, tying my laces and power walking for an hour, all by myself. I don’t see it as exercise, but a treat.
I’ve lost more weight, consistently, since this change. I didn’t realise that I’d change my body by simply loving it more. In fact, I think I’m using the wrong word here. My body isn’t changing, really, but evolving into something that this time, I’ll appreciate. The back pain is easing off, and soon I’ll be digging out those vintage dresses and dancing the night away with merry abandon.
Care to join me?
I found it patranising
Patronising? Where?
I’m sorry you feel that way. Could I ask why? Being patronising was not my intent.
Thanks.
I need to love my body! Many a time I’ve compared my body to another woman in the street, forgetting I’ve had three babies and she probably hasn’t.
Am I reading this right that by loving what I do have, I’ll make changes that’ll improve my body? Without realising its happening?
Seems simple, but I’ve obviously ignored it so far. Although maybe walking for two hours will be better, I’ve no excuse, I’m in the country!
Pretty good article!
Simply put, that’s how it’s worked for me so far. I had a pretty defeatist attitude about my health before, but I ended up getting so annoyed with putting myself down all the time. I’m not unintelligent, I know the whole “eating less and moving more” bit, I just didn’t do it. It’s crazy how hard something so simple can be though, as I’m sure you understand! In the efforts of full disclosure, when I finally said enough is enough, about 2 month ago, my waist measured in at 42″, and today I’m at 37 1/2″. It may not be ohemgee drastic, but I’m happy it’s been slow and steady. I could be annoyed at myself for failing and giving up so many times before, but I’m not focusing on that anymore. Losing weight, for me, is more of a battle with my mind than it is with my body. The body is an amazing thing, and it shocks me how adaptable mine is becoming 🙂
Good for you! Feeling healthy {no matter the size} is what it’s all about. Even thin people become unhealthy when they get old because they are not strengthening their core and get back problems too. I applaud you for taking a positive step in the right direction. Baby steps and don’t look back!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.
It’s great you’ve found a way to change your lifestyle to accomplish the goal of feeling better and not just looking better…
But keep in mind the sex icon Marilyn Monroe was a US size 12 and she RAWKED the sex appeal!
Body image is more about how you feel on the inside & the confidence in how a woman walks and talks rather than her physical weight. The overly confident woman secure and satisfied with her appearance can look thinner because she “carries” herself differently. There’s a different stride in her walk, her head is held higher, shoulders are more square. All these things project an attitude others pick up on.
When someone says to me “you carry your weight well”, I always take it to mean they picked up on the confidence I was exuding (for whatever reason that day) and thought I weighed less but that’s just my interpretation of the phrase!
Good luck with your new lifestyle and hopefully you’ll be dancing the night away soon enough! 😀
I absolutely agree with you on the confidence issue, no woman is more alive and beautiful than one who is comfortable in her own skin!
I think that’s why what should have been taken positively, a compliment, struck me as negative. I haven’t felt comfortable in my own skin for too long, and even affirmations like this one felt like an insult. Either that, I was convinced the person trying to be nice was not seeing what was really there, which is a dangerous trap to fall into.
Thanks again, everyone, for being so welcoming!
I am having a major down on myself time lately. Thank you for sharing this. I hope to be able to get past this and be nice to myself soon.
I love this line: “my body is my best visual aid to my history.” I am looking to get more fit this Fall. For the first time I am excited about working out… and at my age, I have come to terms with my perfect imperfections and yes… it can be better.
I enjoyed this a lot!
I can completely relate to the constant need to drop that last 10 lbs or tone up and I think, as women, a lot of it really is in our own heads. Sometimes I’ll look at old photos and think, “wow I looked great back then!” and my partner will remind me that I was worrying about my appearance back then just as much, if not more, than I am now. And you’re right, a healthy lifestyle can do wonders for how we feel about ourselves. Thanks for sharing this! =)
I found this amazing – I’ll tell you why – I actually can relate to this – I also find a size 6-8 (US) to be small enough for me and I find a size 12 (US) that I am too big.
If I look in the mirror I see all negative and I am scared to step on a scale.
I try to eat healthy but then I get down on myself and lose my good intentions – and then stuff chocolate down my gullet. Having a constantly pregnant woman sitting next to me at work giving out chocolate does not help.
Thank you for the inspiration to try to pull the good things out – recently I’ve been concentrating so much on the bad that even the good things are seeming negative.
Cheers.
It wasn’t easy to ignore my bad bits. Another thing I’m guilty of (and, lets face it, most women are) is when I *do* receive a compliment I immediately point out a flaw apparently only I can see. For instance, “your shoes are lovely!, Cheers, but my fat ankles look awful in them”
I know 99% of the time it *is* only me who can see these flaws – but I’ve built them up to be bigger and more visible in my mind that I’m shocked when people don’t see what is so clear to me.
I haven’t used a scale since I started this journey. My doctor does weigh me but I don’t look down and I’ve asked her not to tell me so far. The only thing I do is measure myself, since I know weigh can and will fluctuate for so many different reasons, not all negative. My measuring tape, however, has mostly been reassuring getting lower, and I don’t sweat it if there’s a half inch up. Anymore than that though, and I hit my cross trainer for extra time!
I have a friend who has lost more than 40 pounds in the past year. Her biggest complaint? If she had known how “easy” it was (exercise, eat better) she would have done it years ago. Start with small steps (substituting one food for another, light and fun exercise, etc) and you’ll start making progress. Bravo!
Thanks again everyone, for your encouragement and shared stories. We really are our own worst enemies sometimes!
I can relate to the idea of giving up after one little slip up. Why not eat the whole bar of chocolate after having a square? You may as well, you’ve already slipped up. Only, you haven’t. Denying yourself anything is dangerous in the long term – I think it’s because “diet experts” tend to limit the foods we “should” be eating rather than a more realistic vision of enjoying different and frankly very tasty food, albeit in a more tummy friendly portion. As a result I haven’t denied myself anything aside from wheat, which I’ve avoided for years anyway – and I’ve found that taking away the temptation has mostly also taken away the urge to have it. Forbidden fruit (or ice cream) is just fruit (or ice cream!) when you remove the limits you place on it.
Case in point, my partner and I went grocery shopping today, and when he pointed out that Jelly Beans were on special offer, I just shrugged my shoulders and moved on. He was surprised, because the last time they were on offer I moaned that I couldn’t buy them, I wasn’t allowed, snapped them up away and scoffed the lot when I got home. Then I felt sick. And guilty. I said it was worth it, but it really wasn’t. This time I wasn’t limiting myself and found I didn’t want them anyway.
Elizabeth, please pass along my congratulations and well wishes to your amazing friend! What an achievement!
Great article! “Dieting” for me has been so much easier this last time because I’ve changed my mindset toward wanting to be healthier. I have been happily exploring other food options for my traditional favorites–finding new interesting flavors. And having reduced my portions over the first month or so of the “diet” has made me feel fuller when I do eat. But the greatest help in losing weight has been the mindset–I do NOT diet, but am actually enjoying a new lifestyle. (and I don’t weigh either–but just keep having to go get smaller clothes!–I get depressed with numbers and tend to eat when I see them). Thank you so much for the article.