Where did all the old school bloggers go?

As I stare at the perfectly curated Instagram feeds I just sigh. Maybe that is their talent – living in a monotone home that they spend all the time cleaning (or hire someone to clean). I contemplate all the blog posts people grumble at as they fight to “just find the recipe”. Blogging and being an influencer has become a money grab. Yep, I said it. When you are more worried about fitting in one more ad into the page than about how your reader feels about visiting your blog then you have been lost to the new world of blogging.

The Ludicrous New Order of Blogging

The world is changing maybe it’s time to let go of the ridiculousness that blogging has become. Maybe it is time to go back to old school blogging. We need more voices talking about how they are experiencing lock downs, distance learning, mental health of their children and how the world has changed in the last 3 years. We need to hear about fears, anxiety, struggles, and true feelings. We need to learn that we are not alone in that darkness inside of us.

That is what blogging started out as over 20 years ago. We shared what was happening in our lives in hopes that we may help someone else not feel quite as alone. Now we are faced with a mental health crisis that is plaguing mothers in believing that perfection is attainable. These readers, these consumers of our content have seen perfection plastered on blogs and social media. But really what is happening behind the scenes?

This is a real look into my life. I have my reading for college out on a TV tray. The same TV tray that a boy used to deposit his game controller. I have a funny mug that my kids gave me, that is fitting for this moment of reflection. Oh, look more gaming controllers sit on the undusted TV stand and they are hanging out with a box of coffee pods that were left out by a boy making me coffee. Oh, lets not forget the laundry that has migrated to our living room because there is no room in the hall for it. Clutter on the floor, an unopened Nerf gun from Christmas present, and a lap tray for the kids to use on the couch. Nothing matches, nothing is clean, and most influencers would reangle this picture to hide the clutter. But I chose not to.

When Did We Create These Unrealistic Expectations?

The other day I was watching an old movie for a college class that was released in 1979 about a boy who was deaf, And Your Name is Jonah. I laughed as I watch this four or five-year-old ride in his mother’s lap in the car ride home from the hospital. Life was so different then. When I started looking at their home I saw that the walls were chipped and dirty, their kitchen was usable and neat but nothing special. I realized that I had been conditioned to believe houses didn’t look like they were lived in on movies. Beyond that I realized that the house looked more realistic and gave me comfort in how my own house looked at that moment. I stopped and considered how movies had changed to make an unattainable expectation of perfection, but not only that – I realized my perfect blog images and Instagram feeds had gone even farther to twist my expectations of what a home looks like. Bloggers didn’t start this process of concealing the real home, but we started the path towards what it likes now.

Bloggers used to be your friends, your mentors, and the people you look up to. But as the money was poured into this industry it now has become a commercial you cannot turn off. Now those bloggers have taken over social media and have created a world of unrealistic ads that their followers don’t realize they are consuming. Sure the FTC got involved and the bloggers and influencers have to put a little note about sponsored ads, but you don’t realize even the non-sponsored posts are there to draw you into their ads. The writers no longer care to share about real feelings, anything that is not positive, and they definitely do not let you see their imperfections.

Beware Who You Follow

I have experience with blogging I recognize the perfect angles that hide the clutter. In the back of my mind I know that the families I see in these photos have so much more to them than this display of perfection. Even though I know that what I see is not real I found these images were still creating an unrealistic expectations on myself. I have started working on cutting out the bloggers and influencers in my feeds that show these unrealistic photos. My list of bloggers I had started, long ago, cleaning out of my bookmarks because they had sold out to the corporations and ads. My Instagram feed is becoming a more realistic view of the world with a focus on healing, helping, and hearing other’s stories. Just like how old school blogging used to be.

How do we change this world of fake imagery into something like it used to be? Can we celebrate the real now? The teary eyed faces, the dirty laundry that everyone has, the truth behind the lens?

What about those who never had to rearrange half a room in their home for a photo or a video? How can we help them know that they are not failing, they are not alone? What has this image of perfection done to their own expectations? Their mental health?